Two Months

Today marks two months since I left home for the adventure that has become study abroad in Germany. Two whole months away from everything I’ve known. Two months of more discomfort than I’ve ever experienced thus far in my life. Two months of a helluva lot of growth and change.

Truth be told, I don’t know if I can look back and say that the past two months have been some of the best two months of my life. Because I don’t really think they have. They have been HARD. Full of challenges, both physical and emotional. Obviously the language barrier is a clear choice. My german has definitely improved but I still have light years to go before I’m at a place that I want to be at. Emotionally speaking, homesickness is also crappy. I thought I was homesick when I went to college in Denver for the first time. Little did I know how easy that was in comparison to this. This time of year is also particularly hard for me because fall and winter have some of my favorite events. I’m missing Trunk or Treat at my home church. I’m missing Thanksgiving which I’m home for every year. I’m missing picking out a Christmas tree and decorating it. Those really hit me in the gut every time I think about them.

So yeah, to say that these have been a growing two months would be an understatement. I’ve cried so many times I can’t keep track but I’ve also done so many things that I have never done before. I would not say these have been the best two months of my life, but they have probably been the most impactful.

I honestly cannot believe the two months have already passed. We just finished the preliminary course for my program abroad. We have course planning and registration a week from today and then classes start on the 15th. I’ve been here two months and we haven’t even started classes.

I only have 10 more months in Germany and that seems like such a short time and such a long time all at once.

I started this post to talk about the enormity of the past two months but honestly I’m not even sure how I’m feeling because I have so many thoughts about what I’ve gone through and what I will go through. 10 more months of hard experiences and obstacles and probably many more crying sessions. But also 10 more months of growth and change and experience and friendship and learning. I have never felt so burdened and so gifted as I do now. I have never experienced such conflicting emotions and thoughts.

No matter how it turns out, though, I know that I will grow every minute. I cannot guarantee that these next 10 months will be the best 10 months of my life. I am absolutely positive, however, that they will be impactful. That’s all that matters for now.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful beginning of Oktober, and I hope these next 10 months are just as impactful for you.

Meghan