Independence

I’ve been pretty unmotivated to write in my blog lately, and I know exactly why. I know that everyone wants to hear about all the fun things I am planning and people want me to tie all of my blogs up with a nice positive outlook. To me, however, my blog is more a place to write about experiences that I’ve had that have changed my perspective and things that I have really had to grapple with. And sometimes those things are positive and it’s great! But often, those things aren’t the fun touristy things that I think people want to hear about.
I’m not trying to be melodramatic and wax on about anything. Germany has been pretty freaking great lately. I’m just apologizing in a very round about way for why I haven’t said much about what I’m actually DOING. I prefer to write about what I’m thinking and feeling and contemplating.
And the topic of contemplation this week is Independence. Germany brings such a new and fascinating definition to the word independence for me. I have always considered myself independent. And if you ask my mom, maybe stubbornly so. But the kind of independence that I experienced growing up is so different than the culturally socialized Independence in Germany. The biggest picture of this independence is children on public transit. Kids of almost all ages take public transit alone and they do it all the time. Whether they’re going to school or just going somewhere with friends, it is not uncommon to see young children slipping on and off the S Bahn or the buses in Heidelberg. This form of independence is taught at a very young age. The other day I saw a kindergarten class learning how to use the public transportation system. The teachers chaperone them on the S Bahn and buses all day and the kiddos wear these bright orange vests so everyone knows who they are and what they’re doing. And they spend the whole day just learning how to be transit smart. It is such a great practice.
Now of course public transportation is so widely used and much safer in Germany, so this kind of independence is easy to introduce at such a young age. We don’t have the same experiences in the states. However, Germany has taught me a lot about my own independence and shown me how much I’ve grown in terms of it. Nowadays, I do my own cooking and grocery shopping, whereas I used to depend on parents or a meal plan to provide food. I have to converse in my sometimes crappy German any time I need something from the phone store or anywhere else. I take public transit all of the time. These are all small things that I never really had to do back home, even though I considered myself “independent.” My mom still used to schedule dentist appointments for me and I almost never did the grocery shopping back home. I still felt unsure about talking to some adults because I didn’t know how to approach the weird relationship where I’m technically an adult but basically still a kid. Being in Germany has given me such a new perspective on all of that. German children are encouraged from a young age to use their voice and handle their own affairs (with help when its necessary, obviously). Children in restaurants order their own food and have their own conversation with waiters/waitresses, instead of how many families in the states will order for their young children.
I’m not saying any of this to hate on how we do things in the United States. I still love and miss my home very much. But I do appreciate how independence is approached in Germany and I am hoping to adapt some of my new independence into my life when I get back home. You pretty much lose all embarrassment and feelings of being unsure when you’ve bumbled through life in a foreign country for a few months. If I can screw up a waitress asking me if I wanted chopsticks instead of asking if I was ready to order and still survive that situation, then I’m pretty sure I can survive any potentially embarrassing adult situations at home, even things like calling and scheduling appointments, LOL.
My mom keeps telling me that she has seen such a change in me and that I have grown so much. As everyone knows, it’s always hardest to view yourself in the same light that other people do because it’s easy to see our own faults. I just hope that I can start owning this growth and independence that my mom sees and start making it a lifestyle change. I already feel as though the Meghan who came here is not the same Meghan who is here now, and I’ve only been here for 3 months. Who knows what else I’ll learn! And that is so exiting.

And finally, for those of you who want to know what I’m actually DOING, instead of just what I’m thinking. I have two trips planned that are coming up pretty soon! I am going to Strasbourg, France this next weekend with some friends for a few days. And then at the end of the month, I will be going to Rome, Italy, which I am so excited for. It’s the one place I knew I wanted to get to while I was abroad. I’m doing a cooking class and all of the touristy trips while I’m there and I will be sure to write about it.

That is all I have for you for now. I’ll write again soon and I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their day.
Meghan